A hypothetical stoner psychologist makes hypothetical reviews and recommendations about actual pot products.

Hypothetically, he could:

Help you understand all of your weed options in today’s crazy weed marketplace. Walk you through all of your options so you could easily turn on any vape pen or decide which whip you need, but it won’t be too much information to keep track of. Help you learn to talk about weed to other people who are chill. Give tips on etiquette if you are going to interact with others while high, based on what THC does in the brain, because that knowledge may help you feel more comfortable. Discuss hypothetical tricks to keep your house smelling fresh. Suggest strategies for discussing THC with your kids and grandkids so they’re safe around THC. And make it be less burdensome to use a medicine that is so effective, yet federally illegal even in the places where it is “legal.” And whatever else you might have questions about.

I’ll even test out the weird shit like shatter and dabs and moonrocks for you. I’ve always been too scared to try that stuff. But I want you to know what you might be buying, so I will do it for you. Hypothetically.

Budget: $20,000.

Critical Mass: 2,000